I feel completely useless. I don’t believe that “I” am useless, but I sure feel that way right now.

Now, before you get all concerned that I might be in a depressive funk – RELAX!

I actually feel quite positive about my life, world, universe, etc. at this exact moment.

“Why,” you then ask, “do you feel useless?”

Here’s why…….

I have been up(awake) fairly early for about 5 days in a row(at least by 8am if not earlier – way early for me especially on a Saturday and Sunday), and it has not worked out that I’ve gotten a nap in. I’ve also stayed up later than 8:30pm. I’m a party animal rockin’ it out until at least 10:30pm. Wooo, Me!

Well, by yesterday afternoon I couldn’t handle it any longer and I layed down for a nap. The problem was that I was so tired that I couldn’t fall asleep right away. I sorta lightly dozed for an hour or so and finally fell asleep, into a deep sleep, about 3:30pm and slept until 6pm. PROBLEMS, RIGHT THERE! I had a meeting that I was going to at 7pm so at least I was awake for that, butI was also awake past 2am last night. Had a major crappy sleep after that, too.

Got up this morning. Drove the kids to school, came home and went to bed. Jon picked up Jeremy at 11am, and I slept until 1pm. Yup, Slept from 9am-1pm. Forced myself to get up at 1pm becuase I am hoping that I will be able to sleep tonight. I have done nothing ALL DAY. Well, not exactly true. I talked to a friend for about half an hour, and made plans to get together with her later this week. and I washed my front door because 3 little kids who like to play out in the forrest and then fondle the front door – well, let’s just say that it was grey as opposed to the white it is supposed to be. I’d like a brown wood door – hide the dirt a little.

That reminds me – when we were growing up, my parents had the most hideous red brick color lineolum in our kitchen. The only reason my mom kept asking for it was that it hid the dirt SO well. You’d never be able to tell it was dirty except when the few dumb people actually took their shoes off at the front door. We never took our shoes off. Their nice, white, new, perfect socks were dirty within minutes. Hmmm, not sure where this story is going, and it sounds like we lived in a filty house. It wasn’t really that bad, but my mom had 5 little kids, and well…housecleaning was not her most favorite thing to do. I’ve cleaned my kitchen floor a little too often recently, and yet it’s not enough. It always seems to be dirty. YUCK! I’ve been thinking about the red brick colored lino. recently, and wondering what it’d look like in my kitchen.

Well, there’s a roast in the oven, and I really should do something. I need to figure out “one” thing to do, but there is so much to do, and it seems a bit overwhelming. Maybe I’ll vacuum….oh, can’t…Jon has a client down in his office. Maybe I’ll do the laundry! Or the bathroom. Or the kitchen, or try to get the rest of the marks off the front door. Windows, walls, TV room……basically everything needs to get done.

I’m really looking forward to the second trimester, and hoping that I get some of my energy back. I could really use it. Oh well, here’s to another day ’cause I’m not really holding out much hope for accomplishing much of anything today.