Hmmmm, I’ve realized that I am less than happy to be spending money.  Not sure if I’m scared or just not sure how this all plays out, and how much we can get for what we’ve allotted or what the deal is, but I’m trying to figure out ways to save.

We haven’t done a full month of me being completely in charge of the groceries & grocery money, and a part of me is freaking out that I might not be able to do it, and so I’m only buying the most absolute necessary things.  I’ve also been baking and cooking more.  We’re not going with out the essentials – just the extras, AND I’ve been baking stuff to try to make up for the missing extras. 

For example, we had some hot dog wieners in our freezer.  I wanted to make an easy meal.  One that didn’t require a lot of clean up or mess.  I really wasn’t sure whether I would take some of my grocery money and buy the cheapest hot dog buns from one of the major grocery stores here in town, or whether I should pick up some for even cheaper from the outlet bakery just beyond my kids school, or if I should just try to make some.  I changed my mind a hundred times, and finally just decided that I would try to make some.  Don’t ask me how this was less mess than just making a big dinner, but as it turned out, it was less mess and a whole lot more fun.

The dough was not a big deal, it doesn’t take very long to make at all.  The kids loved getting in there and helping out with the actual bun shaping process.  Some of the buns were great, and some were a little funny looking, but everybody loved them.  I’d like to make a bunch more some time, and even try Hamburger buns too.  Any how, I also made some oven baked fries(potatoes), and so the kids had hot dogs and fries for dinner last night, and they were thrilled. 

And today…….well, I’ve been wondered about making home-made tortillas.  So, I looked up a recipe, and I had all the ingredients, and so……..I just finished making them.  So easy, and yet so hard.  The last few were definitely better than the first few, and I just had a salad wrap with one and it was fabulous – if I do say so myself.

They are super easy to make and cook; the hard part for me, is rolling them out flat.  I think that I”m going to have bruises on my palms tomorrow.  They hurt right now, and I’m having a hard time typing.  I made one batch with 4 cups of flour, 1tbs oil, 1.25 cups of water, and 1.5 tsp of salt.  It made 14 of them. 

I feel quite good about the fact that with a little effort, we can have things that cost very little. 

I’m trying to organize out my schedule.  It would be good to have a shopping day, and a baking day, maybe a laundry day….but we’ll figure that all out as we go along.  I’m trying to make Mondays my shopping day.  I did run out to the store today, to pick up some milk as we wouldn’t have made it to Monday.  I had to seriously resist the impulse to pick up some of the stuff that I needed, because none of it I really needed until after my Monday shop.  I both hate and love this whole grocery thing.

I’ve also been thinking about Mother’s Day.  I have to admit that in all of  my feeling sorry for myself this last week -I was pretty bummed about Mother’s Day, and not “getting” anything.  So selfish – I know, I know!  The more I thought about it, I came to realize that Jon has given me the absolute best gift that I could have asked for right now…..other than a wedding ring, but I’m sure I’ll get one one of these years.  Mine was stolen 8 years ago…another story for another day……..

Just the fact that we are finally dealing with our money “situation” is such a gift.  I really don’t need anything, and this is so much better than any coffee cup or wall plaque or ornament or something.  I am so grateful that we have started this process even if I don’t like being in the process or where we are at.  I’m just grateful that we’re on the right path and headed in the right direction.