Oh man!  I’m almost in shock. 

We’ve had a rough couple of months with our student – not so much the students fault, although he brings his own amount of stress into our family dynamic.  The biggest amount of stress has been with the program that is responsible for our student.

There have been HUGE communication and organizational issues.  We have felt like they’ve treated us very disrespectfully, and more like a hotel that they can take advantage of than an actual family who is welcoming a child into their home and life.

Today, Jun mentioned in the car on the way to school that he wanted to go to the ice rink to go skating.  I put him off by asking him to come home first and then we would talk about it.

He got home a few minutes before me, and when I got out of the car, he mentioned that another student was with him, and that this student had told his home stay mother that he was going to the ice rink and she had said it was okay.  I was a little confused because Jun had only just asked me in the car, and hadn’t even seen this kid yet.  I’m guessing that the kids had made plans last night or yesterday at some point.

The new co-ordinator of the program (the last one was demoted or something) was coming over to talk to me this afternoon.  She had called me last night to ask if she could take Jun out for dinner tonight.  When she came to talk sometime just after 3pm, she decided to just take the boys with her then.

I realized after, that she had this other student, and I had no idea what the situation was with him.  SO, I called his home stay mother and left a message on their machine.  About half an hour later I got a call from her.  She was calling to verify that we were going swimming and skating this afternoon.  UH…..What????  She had been told that we were going skating and swimming and that her student had been invited.  NOPE!  I knew nothing about that, and had actually been quite shocked when I came home and her student was at my house.

She then shared with me that they have had some issues with their student embellishing sorties and situations to his advantage.  This wasn’t the first time that he’d not been entirely upfront with them.

We really haven’t had much problem with Jun that way.  He’s been a very special kid.

Then she went on to tell me that there was something that we needed to be aware of.  Their student had told them that our student was upset because we yelled a lot and we stole from him.

Unfortunately, my kids do yell.  I am actively working on that, and have been for a little while.  Our student is extremely polite – the new co-ordinator has even mentioned that our student is different from the other students.  She’s called him special.  We’ve been very lucky to have gotten him….for the most part.

The “stealing from him” part is absolutely shocking to me.  We try, with everything in us, to live our lives with integrity.  If there is some way that he feels wronged or slighted, then I’d like to rectify the situation.  I’m shocked that he would say that.  I’ve tried so very hard to make this time in our family a good time for him.  We’ve gone out of our way to make him happy and comfortable.   I think that probably makes it even more upsetting.  The fact that I’ve tried so hard, only to be told that all my efforts mean nothing.

After my conversation with this home stay parent, I called to co-ordinator to ask her how to deal with this. 

• Should I talk to him personally? 
• Should we both (her and I) talk to him together? 
• Should she ask him about it? 
• Should we say nothing? 
• Should we wait to see if he mentions something? 
• What do I do?

She said that she has heard nothing about this, and that as far as she’s concerned, we should just ignore that this happened, unless he actually says something to someone.  She also wants to talk to the other home stay mom.  GREAT!  I wasn’t trying to involve her!  I just wanted to deal with this however it needed to be dealt with.

So, after I hung up with the Co-ordinator, I called the other home stay mom back to let her know that she might be getting a call.  So frustrating!  I don’t think she was thrilled, but she was very gracious about it all.  She also mentioned that she had spoken to the Canadian Home stay Program Co-ordinator about this situation. 

After I hung up from her, I still felt upset – so I made another phone call.  I figured that I’d call the Canadian Home stay Co-Ordinator to let her know that I had heard about this, and what do we do now – from her point of view?  She wasn’t there, I called 45 minutes after the office had closed, and Monday is a holiday, so I probably won’t hear back until at least Tuesday.  I left a big long message explaining the situation and that I had just found out about this, and what do we do now?  I am waiting to hear back from her. 

I can’t hardly wait until our student leaves.  Only one more month!  It can’t possibly go by fast enough.  This is almost more than I care to deal with.  I wish we could just be done with this now.  I am going to request that we never get students from this group again, and hopefully not ever ones so young.  I prefer the high school or college kids.  They are not nearly so much hassle.

AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!  What would you do or suggest?