Well, I’m not pregnant!  Had a lovely surprise this morning - one day early.  Hey, early is better than a teasing day late!

I’m upset, but not devastated!  I really would have liked for it to happen this month, but there is nothing I can to change the circumstances, and so………I’ll survive.  I’ve survived worse.

On the bright side of things, I have a whole ‘nuther month to attempt to lose some more weight.  So far I’ve lost 9 lbs, and then gained some when I weighed today, but there’s a reason, and so hopefully next Wednesday’s Weigh-In will have some amazingly positive news.

I’m trying really hard to not freak out that it’s not happening as fast as I’d like to.  I know that will only make me feel worse.  Seeing as I feel more amazing than I have in a long time - “worse” is not some where that I want to go.

I know that I’ve said it before, but I’m amazed at how well I”m feeling. I have clarity.  I have energy.  I walked to the kids new school twice yesterday.  While that might not seem like a big deal to you - that would have seemed impossible to me 6-9 months ago.  My house is fairly clean.  I feel alert, and peaceful - most of the time. 

I am still struggling with the whole “Jon’s depression” thing.  I feel the pressure to keep things going in our house.  Especially things that don’t seem to get done.  I’m not talking extras, just basic living.  I’m of the opinion that raising a family within a house is a two person job.  I feel like there are times when I’m doing more than one person’s job, and that is wearing.   I’m not sure when Jon will be or feel better.  He still says that he’s tired, a lot, and sometimes I want to freak on him.  Not that I don’t want him to share with me how he’s feeling, but….I don’t know…..it’s hard.  Like this morning, for example, J was up last night (he has a really bad cough, and I’m not sure if it’s a cold or allergies) at 2:30am, and I finally took him back to his own bed at 3am.  I was too tired to move him then, but he was keeping me awake.  Then, for the second morning in a row - he’s woken up at 5:45am….and stayed awake.  It’s very frustrating.  I should have just gotten up with him at 6am.  I probably wouldn’t have felt so bad,  but by 7am I was so exhausted, but had to get up to get the kids off to school.  It’s not that Jon’s in bed, during this time.  He’s been making lunches, which means that I don’t have to get up at 6:30am every morning.  I get a extra half hour sleep.  I totally appreciate it, but still………I’m whining! 

I feel worn out sometimes.  I know that this sounds funny with me saying that I feel so amazing, but before I wouldn’t have know the difference between feeling good, and feeling tired or worn down - I felt like that all the time.  Now, it’s like a dip on a graph, and then I’m back up again.  Enough of that - I don’t really feel like talking about it any more.

Only one more day of school.  Only one more day!  I’m so excited, and yet scared all at the same time.  I hate the first 3 weeks of summer holidays - when the kids are learning to play and entertain themselves, all over again.  It seems to take them about that long.  I wonder if I just unplugged the TV if it would speed things up a little.  I might try that.

Well, I’m holding out for next month.  Hopefully I’ll have some great news for you at the end of next month.  Wouldn’t that be fun?