So, I am in pain bad enough that I actually make an appointment to see the doctor. It’s been getting worse and worse especially since Sunday. I even gave it the “Two Week Hypochondriac Check” to see if I was just wigging-out unnecessarily about something. In fact, I gave it about a month, because I’m such a chicken, and I immediately go to the “worse case scenario”.

So, I finally am in so much pain that I go to the doctor – tell him my sob story and then I’m cheesed because I basically have to wait to hear anything about it. And, here’s the kicker…….he asks if I’ve ever been on depression meds. It goes something like this:

Me: Doctor, I have this pain in my upper left abdomen, yet it doesn’t hurt when I press on the painful spot. But it hurts, nonetheless!

Him: Hmmmmmm, Have you ever been on anti-depressants?

Are you kidding me? In someways, I am thrilled that he is retiring and going into Emergency Medicine, and on the flip side, I am terrified of the change of trying to find a new doctor – especially when there are almost NO DOCTORS accepting new patients. But I really don’t trust him, and yet I trust him more than somebody I don’t know, and definitely more than the dude at the local clinic. I just can’t get over the fact that he seems to feel that I need to be on anti-depressants.

I don’t feel depressed. I don’t feel down! I feel better than I have in a long time. When I had the last miscarriage in July, I was annoyed ’cause I wondered if it would set me back emotionally, but I mourned briefly and moved on.

It’s almost as if this guy figures that I can’t possibly have gone through all that I’ve gone through and not be horribly depressed. I just don’t get it.

Now, to top it all off, that brutal pain that I was feeling yesterday and the day before and the one before that. It’s eased a little. That’s a good thing. It’s not totally gone, but it definitely doesnt hurt as bad as it did.

** TMI WARNING **
With my luck, it’s probably got something to do with the fact that I’m about to have a WICKED, BRUTAL PERIOD! I really didn’t “flow” much with the miscarriage, and when the doctor induced a period 2 weeks later – I really didn’t “flow” that much either. Maybe I’m about to let’er rip, and this is all just hormonal. I don’t know how that’s possible, but let me tell you – Pain, probably at a “7″ yesterday, probably at a “3″ today! While I’d rather have no pain, the “3″ is bearable!

He did push on my stomach, and said that the tenderness seems to be in the lower abdomen. Why it’s hurting in the upper left side?????? I have no idea! Oh well! I actually slept last night from 11:30pm until 4:40am straight. That’s a first in about a month. So, add tired onto my list of complaints, but after last night’s rest, I feel like I can deal with my world, today!

So, now that you’ve listened to me rant, “how’re you all doing?”