I’d really like something……anything that’s bad for me.

I’m on a 15 day cleanse. This is part of my getting back on track thing. I’ve decided to be pro-active, and I’ve started a “gentle” cleansing and detoxification process. I know that I will feel better at the end of it, but…..here I am not even one full day into it, and IT SUCKS!

I want a chocolate chip cookie! I want a chocolate bar! I want some Cheerio snack mix! I want something that’s bad for me! I have a headache, and I WANT TO MAKE MYSELF FEEL BETTER WITH FOOD! I know that’s horrible! I really need to deal with that issue! Hmmmmm! Have to give it some thought! Oh well…..

You know, I can’t even have coffee! I can, however, have green tea and it has caffeine in it. I had pretty much gone off of coffee anyway……..at first we ran out, and then my parents gave me a gift certificate for Starbucks, and so I bought some decaf Verona - my favorite - so we’d been off the “real” stuff for a little while. I know that it’s healthier to be off it, but I love the taste of a nice cup of coffee with cream in it. MMmmmmmm! I can’t have milk either. I really need to go back and re-read my last post, and start looking at the positive things.

It’s only for 15 days! I should be able to do anything for 15 days. Shouldn’t I? I should rock the Weight Watcher’s thing. I’m pretty much eating only veggies and chicken or turkey or fish and a few nuts (pumpkin, sesame and almond) and eggs and brown rice. It sounds a lot worse than it is. Oh! I can also have some grain stuff - so I’ll be pickin’ up some buckwheat as soon as we have some cash. Buckwheat is awesome! You cook it, and can eat it like porridge or rice!

Right now I’m rocking out the veggies and eggs and veggies and chicken, and more veggies - OH!!!! and Water! I’m supposed to drink half of my body weight in ounces. That’s 100 approx. ounces of water which equals about 13 cups. I’ve already done 9….only 4 more to go! That’ll be easy!

I can also have herbal teas, so I have something warm to drink when I don’t want to be drinking caffeine green tea. My other favorite thing is Lemon water. Hot or cold doesn’t matter! Just unsweetened lemon water - MMmmmmm Delicious!

It’s pretty healthy eating, and I’m hoping that I feel a little better at the end of the 15 days. This is the first in a set of 6 cleanses. I don’t think I will do them all, but maybe a few of them.

I also had 2 dr’s appointments today. I’ve been to the doctor more in the last 6 months than I have in my whole life up to this point. It’s CRAZY!!!!

First I had an ultrasound this morning. It was pretty routine, except that I didn’t get to see a little baby, ’cause there wasn’t one, but I still had to drink half of my neighbor’s pool, and I was SOOOOOO uncomfortable! It was a “pelvic and abdominal” ultrasound. I have an appt next Wednesday to get the results of the ultrasound. If I were to be completely honest…..I’m a little nervous. What if they tell me that something serious is wrong??? I don’t have any other signs other than a sore spot, and it’s pretty much gone now except when you push in the center of my gut. I haven’t really noticed the upper left pain any more - that’s a good thing???? Right????

This afternoon I met with my OB. I love him! He treats me like I’m sane! “I” think I am, but with my old Dr. continually asking me if I need meds - I start to wonder. I asked him about antibiotic therapy, and he doesn’t feel that it really works. I’d beg to differ, but he did open the conversation to the possibility of further testing in Vancouver, and so we’ll see………. I talked about some other stuff, and walked away from the whole thing feeling really good! It’s feels like he’s really rooting for me, instead of fighting me. So far, he’s the one doctor that I feel actually has taken the time to listen to me, and really hear ME. I almost wish he was more than just an OB!

Well, I’m munching on a carrot, and making some chicken for dinner. I wish I had some of the nuts to munch on, but I’ll survive.

I’ve also got a dilemma. I’m not sure if we should take a break from the whole “trying to conceive” or if we should just keep going. It all kinda depends on what’s up with my body this cycle. I just don’t know! Do we keep trying or break until December??? See, Jon is going to be gone in November, and well…….I don’t know! This is all so frustrating! I’ll figure it out……probably…..maybe we should just not try, but not prevent either, and just leave things alone to happen or not happen…..I’m blathering, and I need to stop…..I just go now…..okay….bye bye……..K