Not Meant To Be Mean But A Boost Of Reality
Eva:
October 18th, 2006 @ 10:40 pm
If things are so financially tight around your house then why is your husband the only income provider in the house hold?
believe me i know people who have kids & have two jobs & their still living from pay check to pay check eating tuna from the can for dinner in a rent controlled apartment.
stop praying for food & get off your ass & get a job. If your working 2 jobs seven days a week & still can’t afford food for your kids & pay for Internet connection, then, honey, I’ll give you bragging rights on how tight things are for you.
This is not meant to be mean but a boost of reality.
Xangelle:
October 18th, 2006 @ 10:58 pm
Wow! Eva, you do “sound†quite mean. Have I done something to offend you? I’m terribly sorry if that’s the case. I think that it comes down to the fact that we’ve made choices in our home that might be different than the choices you’d make.
We are willing to sacrifice some, to be able to have me stay at home.
The point of the post was that I was having a bad day.
Am I not allowed to have a bad day, and even to write about it on my very own website.
It sounds like you resent the fact that I do get to stay home. As far as I’m concerned, everyone should be allowed to complain from time to time.
I had a stillbirth, but have 3 living children living at home with me – Does that mean that I should not ever feel bad about the fact that I had a son die? Should I never be upset and never wish that I had that happen to me? Should I just be grateful for the kids I do have and forget that he was even born??
A friend of mine’s son was born with cancer. He is still alive, but they have a daily struggle with meds and physio and all the stress that accompanies childhood cancer. Does this mean that just because he is alive, that she is never allowed to complain about how tired she is some days? That she is never allowed to wish that it had never happened to her and her son?
Sometimes things are tight, sometimes they are not – but you really have to do what you know is best for your family. My kids are not going without food. They never have. We might not have an excess of stuff, but we are surviving.
We’ve thought about me going back to work, and for the amount of extra money that I’d bring in – it’s not worth it to us. I am able to provide stability for my kids and my husband. I have a home cooked meal on the table just about every night of the week. For the most part, my being at home enables us to be less stressed out than we would be if I worked. We don’t have to buy me “work” clothes. Right now, I have a pretty amazing “mom” wardrobe that consists of about 4 t-shirts, a pair of jeans, a pair of cargo pants, and a pair of cords – most of which were bought a year or so ago, and are not at all suitable business attire. We don’t have to have a second vehicle, with extra gas and insurance. We are not buying take out because I am too tired to cook, or got home too late. I get to spend time with my kids. We do homework, and play games, and read together. I’m not too tired to enjoy them, and to raise them.
Yes, we don’t go to Disneyland every other year. We don’t have our children in 3 different activities each. We don’t buy the latest Video Game Players. We don’t buy our children an overwhelming amount of the latest and greatest clothes. We don’t buy a lot of useless toys. We don’t buy them whatever they ask for………..and I’m okay with that. What they do get is priceless. You can’t put a price to having a parent be available for their child.
This is partly why I stay home. Why you choose to stay home or choose to work or whatever your choice is – I wish you the best in it. You have to make choices for yourself and your family.
This is our choice. It may not always be easy, and you may not agree with it, but that’s okay.
Thanks for your “boost of reality” You’ve made me realize just how thankful I am that I have a choice, and that my choice is that I get to choose to stay home and raise my children.
PS*** Seriously though, the eating the tuna right of the can comment…..ummmm there are a lot of things that you can get cheaper than tuna, and what ever happened to good manners….How about a plate or a bowl………or were you just throwing that out there to make a point??????
PPS*** Oh, and the jab about the Internet connection………seeing as my husband has a Web-based business, it’d be kinda hard for him to do his job with no Internet connection……..don’tcha think???? That would make supporting me and all my frivolous ways really difficult, wouldn’t it?
PPPS*** Wow! I just realized that this is my first kinda nasty comment. Thanks Eva! Now I feel like a “Real Blogger.”
October 19th, 2006 @ 5:05 am
Wow Xangelle…nasty comments=real bloggers…haha. I just want to say that we have made the choice for me to stay home with the kids and homeschool. This made it really tight when hubby lost his job 2 years ago. We have really had a tough 2 years, and if it weren’t for our faith, friends and family. Now hubby has a new job, finally, and we can see the end of the tunnel. It does come eventually, so hang in there…
I haven’t read a whole lot on your blog about lack of food and stuff like that. In fact, I have read just the opposite!! I have learned many different techniques and recipes to make and do on a lower budget, you have encouraged me to keep a closer eye on our spending and we even have a budget of sorts set up for us to live by!! You have helped me out a great deal here!!
So don’t ever stop how you write. That is what makes you real. Bad days, good days…it is your website and venting is soooo allowed!!
October 19th, 2006 @ 6:59 am
Oops, I was typing fast and didn’t finish my thought on this one…”We have really had a tough 2 years, and if it weren’t for our faith, friends and family” I meant to finish that with …we would not have made it through and been sane at the end of the road!!
October 19th, 2006 @ 7:40 am
Amen Xangelle!! There is a price for being a SAHM for most of us, but it is so worth it…I totally agree with you!
October 19th, 2006 @ 2:22 pm
you are so right….it is a choice and one that I think God honors! so you go girl and do what God is calling you to do!
I HAD to work for several years and it built up resentment and guilt and yes we had more $$ coming in but we had $$ going out that wouldn’t have if I was home!
October 21st, 2006 @ 11:05 am
I would love to stay home but right now we “chose” a bigger home and that “choice” dictates my going back to work but thankfully it (debt) is only enough for 4 hours a day, 5 days a week – while the kids are in school. I think I’d go mental if I HAD to return full-time, I don’t think our family would do very well.
We all make choices on how to raise “our” own families and they should never be judged by anyone else. No one else lives in our shoes. I agree with Ruth – you have some pretty amazing ways to stretch your budget and we could all learn from that!!